029. sinking feeling.

i feel so powerless. it's starting to hit me hard. nothing's happening and that's the problem. and i can't get myself to do anything about it or say anything about it because i'm scared of the outcome, that i won't like what i hear.
what happened? why?

and why can't i find the courage to speak? why must i be so ambiguous or cryptic all the time? WHY AM I SO SHY DURING THE TIMES WHEN I SHOULDNT BE? and why is nothing being addressed? why was nothing ever addressed in the first place?

i've written a couple songs lately. songs and poetry, i should say, since they don't all have music to go along with them. im pretty happy with one song in particular, which i actually have stuck in my head right now. but point is, they're all about you. i think i'm wearing out this topic.


i wish i had the power to turn back time,
hit rewind
then play,
and pause it at my favorite parts,
where it was just you and i,
and everything was perfectly fine.



i'm the type of person who is willing to try things out. and if it doesn't work, then so be it. but at least we tried and there's no regret of not trying or what-ifs. why can't we try? try it out, try to overcome whatever obstacles there may be. try try try.
well, unless there is no desire to try, i suppose. then i guess i'm at a loss here, eh? hah...



i will probably regret writing this entry right after i post it (especially because it's so lame and cheesy)...
maybe.